Ten Exciting, Awesome Steps You Can Take Tonight To Change Your Life Forever!

Lifehack

1. Drink Drano.
2. Call in a bomb threat
to Margo-a-Lago.
3. When your
(fill in blank)
asks if that dress
makes her ass
look fat, say yes.
4.Try to pet
a cassowary.
5. Schedule a spring
lobotomy.
6. Take gluten
and fat free
donuts to a
police station.
7. French kiss a cobra.
8. Call the FBI
and tell them
you are D B Cooper.
9. Try to rape
a garbage disposal
10. Vow to never write
another listicle.

Honorary Schizophrenic. Recent refugee. Displaced person. Old white male. Confidant of cassowaries.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store